There’s something strange that happens when you own a campervan. You decide to go away for two nights, perhaps three if you’re feeling adventurous, and somehow end up packing enough food, clothes and equipment to survive a small-scale apocalypse.
It’s one of the great mysteries of campervan life. You might live perfectly happily at home with one fridge, a modest wardrobe and a cupboard containing approximately three useful items. But the moment that van is involved, all logic disappears.
Suddenly, you need six different coats, seventeen pairs of shoes, enough food to feed the campsite and approximately £4,000 worth of camping accessories.
And the funniest part? You probably won’t use half of it.
If you own a campervan, motorhome or converted van, we’re willing to bet you’ll recognise at least a few of these habits. In fact, there’s a good chance you’re guilty of most of them.
1. Packing Enough Food for a Month
You’re going away for Friday and Saturday night. You’ll be home on Sunday afternoon.
So naturally, you’ve packed:
- Three different breakfast options.
- Enough sausages to feed a football team.
- Two packs of bacon, just in case.
- Four different types of bread.
- Enough snacks to stock a village shop.
- Food for meals you haven’t even planned yet.
There’s also a very good chance you’ve packed emergency food for an imaginary situation where every shop in the country suddenly closes.
And don’t forget the person who insists on bringing food from home because it’s cheaper, despite having spent £300 on camping equipment that weekend.
By Sunday, you’ll probably be giving food away to your neighbours because you’ve barely touched half of it.
2. Taking Half the House With You
Remember when you thought a campervan was supposed to make life simpler?
Those were innocent times.
Somehow, a weekend away now requires more luggage than a family relocating to another country.
There’s the outdoor carpet, the camping chairs, the table, the Cadac, the RidgeMonkey, the barbecue, the windbreak, the awning, the lighting, the portable fridge and enough cushions to furnish a small hotel.
Then there’s the stuff your other half insists is absolutely essential.
You’re not entirely sure what half of it does, but apparently you can’t go away without it.
And whatever you do, don’t forget the bag containing all the other bags.
If you really did bring half the house, this is why the weighbridge matters.
3. The Wardrobe of a Campervan Owner
It’s a two-night trip, but you need clothing for every possible weather condition known to mankind.
Shorts for the sunshine. Waterproof trousers for the rain. A fleece for the evening. A big coat for when it gets cold. A lighter coat in case the big coat is too warm.
And, of course, your favourite festival outfit.
British weather is unpredictable, so you’re effectively packing for four seasons in one weekend.
There’s also a strange campervan rule that says you must own at least one item of clothing that would be completely unacceptable in normal everyday life but is perfectly reasonable on a campsite.
We’re looking at you, oversized dressing gowns and the Dryrobe!
4. The Great Campervan Fridge Mystery
How can a fridge that looks enormous when you buy it suddenly become the size of a shoebox when you actually need to use it?
You’ll spend twenty minutes carefully arranging everything, only for somebody to announce that they’ve forgotten the milk.
Then comes the inevitable game of fridge Tetris.
Someone will suggest moving things around. Someone else will say there’s absolutely no room. And eventually, something will end up sitting outside the fridge because apparently that’s the only logical solution.
Meanwhile, there’s a suspicious container at the back that nobody remembers putting there.
5. The Outdoor Carpet Is More Important Than the Van
You could forget your toothbrush, your phone charger or even your wallet, but forgetting the outdoor carpet? Absolutely unacceptable.
It doesn’t matter whether you’re staying on grass, gravel or a beautiful campsite with perfectly maintained pitches. That carpet is coming out.
It must be straight, perfectly positioned and preferably large enough to accommodate a small family gathering.
And once it’s down, nobody is allowed to walk across it with muddy shoes.
You’ve spent thousands on a campervan, but the real pride and joy is apparently a piece of outdoor flooring.
6. The Weather Forecast Becomes Your Full-Time Job
Before owning a campervan, you probably checked the weather once in the morning.
Now you check it every twenty minutes.
BBC Weather, Met Office, AccuWeather. You’ll even start looking at forecasts for nearby towns in the hope that the rain might somehow miss your campsite.
One app says sunshine. Another says thunderstorms. A third suggests light rain.
You’ll spend the next two hours discussing whether to put the awning up.
And just when you’ve decided it’s safe to leave everything outside, the heavens open.
Welcome to British campervan life!
7. The Awning Takes Longer to Put Up Than the Weekend Lasts
You’ve arrived, found your pitch and finally got the van parked where you want it.
Now comes the operation.
Poles, straps, pegs, clips, zips and something that looks suspiciously like a piece of equipment from a NASA space programme.
One person reads the instructions. The other insists they’ve done it before and knows exactly what they’re doing.
Twenty minutes later, you’re both standing there wondering why there’s a spare pole.
And then Sunday arrives. Time to take it all down, fold it up, squeeze it into its bag and discover that it will never fit back in the same way again.
8. You Need a Holiday to Recover From Your Holiday
There’s something wonderfully exhausting about a campervan weekend.
You’ve driven, parked, unpacked, set up, cooked, washed up, socialised, packed away and driven home.
Then comes the final challenge: unloading everything.
The van is full of bags, food, dirty clothes, empty bottles and various items that somehow weren’t there when you left.
You promise yourself you’ll sort it all out that evening.
Three days later, the outdoor chairs are still in the hallway and there’s a suspicious smell coming from somewhere near the fridge.
But you’re already looking at dates for the next trip.
9. You Never Actually Stop Shopping for Your Van
You’ve got everything you need. You’ve got more than you need. You’ve probably got things you haven’t even taken out of their packaging.
But then somebody posts a photograph of a new camping gadget in the Facebook group.
Suddenly, you need it.
It doesn’t matter that you’ve survived perfectly well without one for the last five years. It’s now an essential piece of equipment.
And don’t even think about looking at the accessories section of a camping shop. That’s financial danger territory.
There’s always another light, another gadget, another storage solution or another modification that will make your van just that little bit better.
At this point, your bank account has probably accepted that it’s no longer in charge.
10. You’d Never Change It for the World
Despite all the packing, unpacking, spending, arguing, weather checking and occasional domestic disputes over the heating, there’s something special about campervan life.
It’s the freedom to head off whenever you fancy. The weekends away with friends. The places you discover. The people you meet. The unexpected adventures and the memories you make along the way.
It doesn’t matter whether you’ve got a classic VW, a modern Transporter, a converted Transit, a motorhome or something completely different.
Once you’re part of the campervan world, you understand it.
And even if you spend three hours packing for a two-night trip, you’ll probably be doing exactly the same thing next weekend.
Over to You, Dubbed Out Community!
We know we’ve only scratched the surface here. Every campervan owner has their own little habits, routines and questionable purchases.
So we want to hear from you.
- What’s the most ridiculous thing you’ve ever packed for a weekend away?
- What’s the one thing you absolutely refuse to leave home without?
- What’s the most expensive camping gadget you’ve bought and barely used?
- Are you the sensible packer or the one who takes absolutely everything?
And perhaps most importantly, how many days does it actually take you to unpack after a weekend away?
Drop your answers in the comments. We want to hear your stories, and don’t be afraid to grass up your other half!
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Dubbed Out Festival 2027 takes place from 29 July to 1 August 2027 at the Royal Cheshire Showground, Tabley, near Knutsford.
All makes and models of campervan are welcome, and it’s all about the people, the community and having a brilliant time together.
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See you out there, Dubbers!
Dubbed Out – It’s About the People.